"I do not know what I may appear to the world,
but to myself I seem to have been
only a boy playing on the seashore,
and diverting myself in now and then finding
a smoother pebble or a prettier shell than ordinary,
whilst the great ocean of truth lay
all undiscovered before me."
-Sir Isaac Newton
I actually really don’t know where to begin. Was watching a talk show earlier, and its topic was “30’s is the new 20’s” I thought to myself, really?!? Well, I just turned 30 last december, and up until a few hours ago, if someone would ask me my age I would not think twice of saying I’m 27 without even as much as batting my eyelashes. Well, yeah, yeah. I’m a pathological liar when it comes to my age. But now, I have decided to come clean. Yes I’m three-O and I feel ancient. Worse I’m petrified, scared, of what’s up next…
It feels that my 20’s just flashed right before my eyes and before I know it, BAAM! Im fucking 30!
In retrospect, my 20’s wasn’t really that bad, I have had the chance to travel and see some amazing places, met some fabulous people that have influenced and inspired me and helped shape my character. I also managed to clinch another degree. Not bad to what I have done with my life in my 20’s.
I honestly don’t want to let go of my youth, the carefree easy going attitude. The devil may care outlook in life…But I guess, I have to grow up, sooner or later. And I thought it was just befitting that I celebrated my 30th birthday in the happiest place on earth, where everyone’s a kid form ages 1-100, Disneyland! It was my version of a coming of age ritual. Though, I have been to Disneyland more than a number of times before, but the feeling of being there and being 7 years old all over again, is indescribable. It was a good way to mourn the passing of my 20’s and bracing myself to face head on my 30’s.
What’s next for me? What’s around the block? More surgical enhancement? Expensive under eye cream made of caviar? Tubes and tubes of moisturizer and sunscreen? Ha-ha. But beyond the physical aspect, I have promised to take care of myself and those people around me. I have vowed to take charge of my life and make a linear progress. Of course, the youthfulness I will never let go of. The random acts of reckless abandonment, hmmn, maybe sometimes. This time around, with a bit more of self constraints and considerations of the consequences of my actions.
I plan to value more the people who have always been there in my youth, to cherish and to love them. I have come to realize that this people, my friends, the good ones atleast, are for keeps.
Though I’m scared of what’s the “jack in the box” for me, I am not afraid of moving forward. I am bent on being more fab, to even more so, enrich and cultivate myself in my 30’s and never forgetting to celebrate the glory of my being each day.
So yeah Im 30.